10 Warning Signs That You Have the Wrong Sponsor

Many people struggling with substance abuse often take part in programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA). While AA strives to help unite and support members in the fight against alcoholism, NA works as a support group for people struggling with drug abuse. Both organizations encourage complete abstinence from all drugs or alcohol and promote individuals helping each other to free themselves from the vicious cycle of addiction.

One of the first steps of joining both AA and NA is to find a sponsor to act as a personal supporter on the path to addiction recovery. Defined by the New York Crystal Meth Anonymous Intergroup as “another recovering addict who offers guidance and support in a one-on-one relationship,” a sponsor can be an essential tool for a person struggling with substance abuse. Addiction is a multifaceted, life-threatening disease and having a highly qualified person you can turn to, as a friend, mentor, and confidant can be a critical life line.

However, every sponsor isn’t compatible with each person in recovery, and it often takes some trial and error before discovering the “right fit,” which can delay the support needed to fight drugs or alcohol. While having the right sponsor is a crucial asset, connecting with the wrong one will likely damage a person’s recovery. Relapse is a common threat for people struggling with addiction, and poor sponsorship can greatly hinder progress towards sobriety.
These 10 warning signs can help determine you have the wrong sponsor:

1. Your sponsor talks more about him or herself than about you.
2. Your sponsor has a cynical or pessimistic attitude.
3. Your sponsor has trouble finding time for you.
4. Your sponsor agrees with you when you blame your problems on other people.
5. Your sponsor doesn’t return your messages promptly.
6.  Your sponsor is rigid in his or her approach.
7. Your sponsor tries to psycho-analyze you.
8. Your sponsor isn’t a good listener.
9. Your sponsor asks you to run his or her personal errands.
10. Your instincts tell you that he or she isn’t the right sponsor for you.

Having the wrong sponsor can disrupt recovery and should be addressed as soon as possible. Addiction recovery is a life-long process of dedication and hard work, and resources, like a solid sponsor, can help provide the important support needed to learn to live free from addiction.